I see you.
Lying there wondering why you feel so empty… so dirty.
I see you.
Your unanswered questions in the middle of the night after he has been with you.
Wondering if he loves you. Wondering if you’re truly special in his eyes. Or…
Just an object. Just a filler as he feels you up and down in his moment of lust.
Yet, you continue to return hoping the chaos of his desires and worldly passions mean you are someone significant to him.
Oh, I see you.
The alcohol … the drugs cover up the stench of what this truly is.
Somehow, although only temporarily, they soften the blow of the truth of who you have become.
They momentarily hide the things you have resorted to in this desperate attempt to fill the void.
However, as you look around you, nothing feels right and yet all at the same time, it feels too good not to chase.
You chase that need to feel loved. To fit in. To feel like you belong. To feel as if someone finally wants … you. To feel that life has meaning. To feel like you have a purpose.
And here you are, not only chasing after those desires, but now actively running after the cravings of those things in which temporarily cover the stench of what fills your nostrils:
Pain, rejection, the truth of what this really is and who you have become.
This disgusting cycle that you repeatedly make excuses for as your world has fallen apart around you and having lost loved ones in the aftermath of your life-altering pursuits.
And sadly, rock bottom has yet to find you as you search for meaning … hope … something of which you honestly have no idea in what you search for.
The darkness has caused your distorted view to accept this as normal, even when it feels so utterly wrong and yet … so right.
You believe somewhere along the way, this too will change. That the environment and person you pursue emotionally will be the one who rescues you.
You think their jealousy or their possessiveness equates to love.
You think their erroneous desires in the bedroom mean they deeply and madly love you, not realizing it is only the passions this individual seeks to fulfill after watching these same acts take place through a screen in which others have filthily displayed.
I see you.
But…
More importantly…
God sees you.
He sees your tears in the middle of the darkest nights when you feel all hope is lost.
God sees you when you feel disgusting and dirty after moments you know are impure and immoral.
God sees you when you are in the middle of your drunken stupor or drugged out and mind numbing … mess.
And this God, came as man in the flesh, Jesus Christ, so He could redeem you from all of that.
He walked this earth fulfilling His purpose… fulfilling His earthly ministry to those long ago…leading up to Calvary with you always in mind.
Jesus knew He would face betrayal, trials, scourging, beatings and the pain of nails as He shed His blood for the sin that caused your tears in the darkest of nights.
As He endured the cross, you were the joy set before Him.
As He cried out, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” … enduring the suffering for our nail piercing sin, He too felt the darkness…
And yet, He declared, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”
The veil was torn allowing us full access to God and yet to the world, sin and death appeared to have won.
As you lie awake pondering the meaning of your existence, Jesus Is risen, and our Savior holds the keys of death and hell, offering us hope … purpose, redemption and ultimately salvation.
Offering it as a gift but never forcing it.
Jesus has already conquered sin and death so you do not have to remain in the stench and filth of your surroundings.
Jesus was and is the One you have always sought for in those drunken and drugged out depths of despair. You just did not know it.
Jesus was and is the One you have always needed as you waited for the lover in your bed to give you what only the lover of your soul can: belonging, purpose, redemption, hope, love.
Your Redeemer lives.
How long will you wait before running to the only One who can fill the void and clean you from the filth of what you have become?
Run to the altar! Run to the cross and lay it all at His feet. Allow the Savior of all the world to free you from the fetters and chains that hold you bound.
Because somewhere in the madness of your worldly pursuits, things never get better.
Our Savior, is relentless in His pursuit to bring you home and spare you from hell…
Jesus will allow your earthly comforts to become the very rock bottom in which you will face if you continue to run.
He is a gentleman and will not force you to choose Him but He will not allow His beloved to comfortably make a path to hell either.
Choose.
Choose this day whom you will serve.
Jesus loves you so. The tears you have cried are bottled in heaven. The hairs of your very head are numbered. The path you have trudged may be crooked but yet, He alone makes the crooked paths straight.
He breaks the bars asunder.
Run to the cross
.Jesus has a new robe waiting for you.
His robe of righteousness.